


Breathe in the Ocean

by bakerblake



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armin suffers too but quietly, Canon Era, Eren has a lot of nightmares, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, I don’t blame them for being messed up, M/M, Panic Attacks, the world they live in is an actual nightmare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 12:50:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11851932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakerblake/pseuds/bakerblake
Summary: Armin reminds Eren how important it is just to breathe, to whisper gently, to live. In return, without really even realizing it, Eren helps Armin with his low self-esteem.It's hard to let yourself love someone when you live in a cruel world like theirs.Ten short moments about Eren, Armin and breathing.





	Breathe in the Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> *shows 4 years later to the party with an eremin fic* Hi, am I too late with this pairing??  
> Anyway.
> 
> (I've only watched the 1st season and the first 4 episodes of season 2. And oh bbboi am I nervous)

The ocean. The great, faraway ocean. Armin’s one true love.

It is Eren’s 10th birthday and Armin only just introduced him to the forbidden book as a birthday present, but he already knows that it’s true. He has never seen Armin’s eyes shine the way they are shining right now. It’s like there are blue diamonds in his big, round eyes, the outside world reflecting in them. He has never looked this excited.

Armin wants to explore every single detail that is mentioned in the book. He wants to see the land covered in ice, the mountains, the lonely desert, _everything_ , everything the outside world has to offer.

But the ocean is different. It’s almost like Armin _needs_ to see it in order to live. He needs to breathe under the ocean, needs to wander into deep waters, get swallowed by the sea as it whispers secrets into his ear.

“You’re not supposed to have that book”, Eren says, frowning when Armin tells him that the ocean is apparently all saltwater. “The Military Police will arrest you if they find out.”

It’s kind of strange that he is the one scolding Armin, telling him not to do anything too reckless or stupid that might get him in trouble. It’s usually the other way around.

But the diamonds in his friend’s eyes sparkle even brighter. Armin is serious about this, the outside world has already enchanted him and the thirst to know more has taken over his whole soul. The endless ocean is calling his name and Armin is desperate to answer that call.

Now Eren can’t help but be curious, too. Armin gladly tells him more, reads the whole book to him actually. Eren is quite sure he can never get tired of his best friend’s soft voice.

When he grows up, Eren wants to be a soldier. He wants to be like those who joined the Survey Corps. He wants to become a hero and that doesn’t change. But as he watches Armin defend his own dream even when the bullies repeatedly punch him in the face, Eren wishes that he grows up to be just as strong and fearless as Armin already is.

The bullies once again leave Armin with a bloody nose, but even though the boy is bruised and battered, he still takes both of Eren’s hands in his and squeezes them heartily with a wide smile on his face. The broken skin around Eren’s knuckles has been painted red, too.

Armin’s cheeks are slightly flushed, his eyes full of jewels again. Little Eren’s very little lungs abruptly stop working at the sight.

“Let’s see the outside world together one day, okay?”

What else can Eren do but agree?

 

And so the ocean exists for their eyes only.

 

***

 

“Breathe, Eren”, Armin tells him quietly, ashamed of his own weakness as he avoids eye contact with his friends. The red and purple bruises on his skin look painful. “I’m okay.”

“I _am_ breathing and you are _not_ okay”, Eren snaps back, annoyed. “Don’t tell me to calm down because I won’t. I’m pissed that those jerks think they can just keep doing this, keep hurting you, but I won’t let them.”

“I promise I won’t let them hurt you anymore either”, Mikasa also vows.

Armin feels how his eyes well up. He’s obviously grateful, but at the same time, he has never felt this powerless. This pathetic. Like a burden.

Armin refuses to cry. He gets up from the ground but can’t help wincing when his knee screams in pain. Eren’s gaze immediately flies to his leg. Armin is limping.

The bullies have already disappeared out of sight, but Eren runs after them anyway and breathes out chaos.

And gets his ass kicked.

 

***

 

Shiganshina falls and they lose everything.

 

Eren mumbles in his sleep; dark, scary things that make goosebumps prickle across Armin’s back. Violent promises that Armin hopes his friend never has to fulfill.

“I’ll kill you...”

They don’t talk about the ocean anymore. They don’t talk about it because Eren’s days and nights are now filled with the obsessive need to _destroy_.

Titans, Eren explains, he wants to destroy titans. He wants to kill every single man-eating beast until there is nothing left of them, until they disappear from this universe completely. But Armin can see something else behind those turquoise eyes than just titans. Eren is plagued by his own thoughts, eyes always unstable, going in and out of focus because he is this close to losing his mind to insanity.

Eren just simply wants to destroy. Destroy something, destroy anything. Whenever he talks about killing the titans, his eyes shine ten times brighter than they ever did when he and Armin used to daydream about the outside world.

That is Eren’s new dream. To kill.

Which is good, maybe, Armin thinks. Revenge and determination are welcome and much needed once they are part of the Survey Corps. In order to survive in this world you need to be a little mad.

“I will slaughter you all...”

But it’s still scary as hell.

Eren tosses and turns restlessly, and Armin reaches for his hand. He squeezes Eren’s fingers gently.

“I won’t spare a single one... I... I...”

The frown on Eren’s face disappears slowly. They do this almost every night and Armin has noticed that the only thing that can lull Eren’s dreams is his touch.

Some nights it’s not that simple, though. Sometimes Eren dreams about killing his own mother with his bare hands. Sometimes he dreams about his father beating him to a bloody pulp and not stopping until Eren is too tired to fight back. Sometimes his dreams are just a blurry mess of violence, pain and death. Eren wakes up feeling like someone is choking him.

Armin rests his head on his best friend’s chest, hearing how his heart breathes, and he wonders if Eren even knows the difference between nightmares and reality anymore. It is a good thing Mikasa is there to keep Eren safe from the dangers of this world, from the creatures that might want to harm and hurt him.

Armin feels like he’s there to keep Eren safe from _Eren_.

 

***

 

Holding her brother’s limp, unconscious body tightly, Mikasa wails, cries her heart out. Gracelessly, Armin drops to his knees before them. His whole body trembles just as badly as it did when Shiganshina fell. Even so, he feels like he’s numb to the core.

Carefully, like Eren’s body might break, Armin takes his left hand – the hand that should not be there – and intertwines their fingers. Relieved tears immediately gather in his eyes when he realizes that Eren really is there, that the Eren he sees in front of him is _real_.

Eren... Eren is not dead.

“How...?” he mutters. Armin’s brain demands an explanation, but does it really even matter? Eren emerged from the Titan’s neck and he’s here, in Mikasa’s arms where he’s finally safe again. That is the only thing that truly matters.

But is he... is he breathing?

Mikasa can’t stop crying, their teammates gasp and murmur, the rotting bodies of the defeated titans make hissing sounds. Armin can’t hear anything. The silence swells. All he can do is let another tear slip down his cheek as he brings his friend’s knuckles to his lips.

He never realized. This whole time Eren has been holding Armin’s heart in the palm of his hand.

“Please, Eren, please...” Armin mumbles against Eren’s fingers so that no one else can hear. “Breathe...”

And when he does, Armin feels like he himself is no longer able to.

 

***

 

Instead of just mumbling, Eren actually cries in his sleep tonight. The dark room fills with broken gasps as the boy lets out painful little whimpers, chest rising up and down frantically. There are tears forming at the corners of his tight shut eyes. He’s suffocating.

Armin wakes up in the middle of the night when the frightened sounds invade his dreams. When he opens his eyes and sees his friend panting and squirming, sheets twisted and tangled around his body, Armin knows that his touch alone won’t be enough this time. The monsters in Eren’s head have become too strong.

“Eren?” He shakes the sleeping boy lightly. “Eren, wake up.”

Eren’s eyes fly open and he gasps loudly, instantly propping himself up on his elbows. Drenched in sweat, his shirt sticks to his skin, hair to his face. Without even touching him Armin knows that he’s practically burning.

Eren’s eyes look crazy; wide and unfocused. His pupils are dilated more than they should be. Sweat runs down his forehead as he looks around, lost, like he has no idea where he is.

Armin moves closer to comfort his friend, but Eren flinches and pushes him away. Armin’s chest aches.

“It’s alright, it’s just me –”

A sudden, choked sob escapes Eren’s lungs, cutting Armin off. Clutching at his chest, he shakes his head furiously, his breath picking up again. He’s not getting enough oxygen.

Afraid that at this rate Eren is going to wake everyone else in the room, too, Armin takes a deep, deep breath and cups his friend’s face in both of his hands. He forces Eren to meet his eyes. It seems like the scared boy stops breathing entirely.

A sigh leaves Armin’s lips. He lets himself caress his best friend’s cheek with his thumb for a moment. He lets himself leak, lets his feelings leak because the room is pitch black and quiet and Eren is not completely awake yet. Maybe he won’t even notice. Maybe he won’t notice how extraordinarily tender Armin’s touch is trying to be.

The terrifying storm in Eren’s unique eyes calms down. He swallows visibly.

“Armin?”

A tense nod.

Eren lets out a shaky, relieved breath, and Armin doesn’t hesitate wrapping him up in warmth. Eren hugs him back immediately. The boy drops his head to rest in the crook of Armin’s neck, softly murmuring Armin’s name like it is the only thing keeping him sane. His voice sounds painfully hoarse as it claws its way up his throat, but it’s not like that because of sleep. It’s more like Eren had been screaming in his nightmare and it somehow managed to affect his real vocal cords, too.

Their legs intertwine. Armin’s hand finds its way to Eren hair as their hold on each other tightens. Eren’s scent makes his heart quicken. Armin jumps slightly, involuntarily, when his friend’s lips brush the sensitive skin on his shoulder.

It’s ridiculous, Armin damn well knows that. He scolds himself inwardly because there are so many things going on right now. They are constantly fighting for their lives, titans are threatening the human race, for goodness sake! Of course Eren doesn’t have time to notice how Armin’s gaze lingers on him just a little too long these days. Eren focuses his energy on what’s truly important. Armin needs to pull himself together, too. Now is not the time to think about how precious Eren’s furiously beating heart is to him.

Something wet touches his neck then, and Armin is reminded that Eren _needs_ him right now. Letting the tears out helps, but Armin is there to make sure that the tears also stop at some point.

“Take a deep breath”, he says, petting Eren’s hair as the boy sobs almost silently. “It’s okay. Please, just... just breathe.”

He can hear Eren’s sharp intake of breath. The boy exhales slowly, blowing warm air against Armin’s skin. Eren does it several times, trying to soothe his heart, but his breath just won’t stop stuttering.

Vulnerable Eren is something only Armin and Mikasa get to see. A broken soul - that is what some of their friends would surely think of Eren if they knew, if they saw him like this.

“You’re doing great”, Armin hums, the tone of his voice warm as he holds Eren close to him and rocks them back and forth. Eren empties his lungs with a long sigh, finally relaxing, and that is when Armin knows that they’ve made it through.

The outside world is cruel, at least for now, but that has not made Armin want to see or explore it any less. He just hates how easy it is to imagine a world where they don’t exist, where him, Eren and Mikasa don’t exist. Joining the Survey Corps is a great way to make sure you die young. Eren is reckless, Armin is not physically strong, Mikasa’s soul will not live long if anything ever happens to Eren. The odds are against them.

“You’re safe now. It was just a nightmare.”

The world they live in is messed up. It is horrible to wake up from one bad dream to another. The nightmare never ends.

Breathing isn’t easy.

 

***

 

Armin is restless, too, he’s just better at hiding it. He knows that his chest is equally heavy as everyone else’s, it has to be, after everything he’s been through, after everything he’s seen. Every evening he counts his bruises and permanent scars in the bathtub. He’s well aware that his eyes have lost their shine. He’s tougher now, like a tidal wave, just not quite as terrific or mesmerizing.

So why, why, _why_ does Eren look at him with those fiery eyes like he’s the most brilliant person on this planet?

“I trust you. Completely”, says the boy Armin loves with his whole being. “You’re smarter than most. I know you’ll come up with the right plan.”

Mikasa nods, agreeing with everything Eren said. Armin’s heart picks up its pace.

His friends don’t think he’s weak, they’ve never thought that way, he realizes. Eren thinks he’s _strong_.

When they were younger, Armin always hated to be so dependent, using Eren and Mikasa like they were his shields, clinging to them and holding Eren’s hand tightly as they passed the bullies on the street. He hated being afraid, feeling so powerless.

But all that is over now, they’re not little kids anymore.

All Armin ever wanted was to be their equal. And now, as his friends basically trust him with this decision that could possibly cost their lives, he starts to think that maybe Eren and Mikasa need him just as much as he needs them. Maybe, just _maybe_ , Eren feels the same way Armin feels about him. The thought alone makes him greedy.

He always hated how much Eren and Mikasa protected him, but now he finally understands. Isn’t that exactly what family does? Protect each other fiercely? Armin promises himself that he will do everything in order to keep his two family members safe.

Everyone has a dark side, but Armin is only now starting to realize just how dark his is. It is downright scary, what he is willing to sacrifce for Eren and for Eren only. ( _Anything_ , a small voice in Armin’s head says. He’s willing to sacrifice anything for Eren Jeager.)

His love has become both extremely selfish and extremely selfless at the same time. His heart already overflows.

He meets Eren’s gaze. There is something playful and nervous between them as Eren looks straight into Armin’s soul and says, “We have to get through this so that we can one day explore the outside world together, remember?”

Armin doesn’t even try to hide his openly surprised expression. Speechless, he gapes at Eren. Mikasa looks almost amused as she covers half of her face with her scarf.

Armin has to fight the tears that threaten to make his vision blurry. “Eren, you... I thought...”

He was wrong. Eren never forgot about their dream after all. And he is right, this will bring him – _them_ – one step closer to the ethereal sea.

A simple, determined nod is all it takes. Eren and Armin smirk at each other, Mikasa’s dark eyes burn strong.

They are at war and they are going to win.

 

***

 

“Breathe”, Armin whispers softly, breathless.

This time Eren is not sure if Armin is talking to him or rather to _himself_. He can’t stop the grin that spreads across his face at the thought.

It’s quiet around them. The tree they are hiding under is in full bloom. Its flowers, coloured like Armin’s hair, look down at them tenderly as Armin sits on his knees between Eren’s legs, facing him.

Eren has never kissed anyone before and he sure as hell didn’t think it would feel this nice to steal someone’s breath. It feels good to inhale Armin. Natural. It feels amazing to just _be_ , to feel Armin’s chest move soothingly against his own.

Their touches are feather light, gentle and tender. In a way it’s strange because Eren is not used to being treated this gently anymore. Thanks to his powers, he’s now closer to a weapon than he is to a human being.

When he closes his eyes, Eren is surrounded by the comforting smell of old books. Sighing, he breathes in the scent of Armin and then leans forward to press their foreheads together. Armin’s breath tickles and warms his face in the best way possible. A surprisingly raspy laugh escapes Eren’s lips.

Armin’s cheeks turn slightly more pink. “Breathe”, he whispers out loud again.

Eren smirks.

Yep, Armin is definitely talking to himself.

Just for a moment, the colours of this world aren’t so dull. The sun really does shine as brightly as Armin’s golden hair and the sky really is just as blue as Armin’s eyes. The gentle green of the grass under their bodies is comforting like Armin’s hugs. The colour pink will from now on remind Eren of Armin’s lips. Every colour somehow comes back to Armin, Armin, Armin.

He lets his best friend pull him closer to his body, practically purring when their lips touch again. He can feel how Armin smiles against his mouth.

For once Eren isn’t waiting for the ending, isn’t waiting for his last breath. For once the titans don’t even cross his mind. There’s no way he’s going to let those monsters ruin this rare moment.

Armin gets too lost in his thoughts, too, and accidentally bites Eren’s lower lip so hard it bleeds. The sound Eren makes is just as much a surprised gasp as it is a satisfied hum.

Because he... he _likes_ pain, he’s that damaged. That is something he’s familiar with. Eren doesn’t mind blood, he pretty much _wants_ it to hurt.

He’s not sure if his messed up mind is what Armin deserves, but until Armin himself says that this is not what he wants, Eren is not going to complain.

Armin pulls back and opens his eyes to apologize, to see if he’s okay, and suddenly Eren is completely, helplessly, _desperately_ drowning. He holds his breath.

 _Blue_ , that is all he sees. Eren still has yet to see the ocean, but it must surely look exactly like Armin. What is the _point_ if it doesn’t look like Armin?

And Eren can see it reflecting in those clear eyes. Armin is a liar. He doesn’t really want to breathe. He wants to forget everything, wants Eren to make him as breathless as possible.

Breathing is like quiet whispering. That is not what either of them wants right now.

Hesitantly, Armin puts a hand on his thigh, and Eren can barely bear it. His ears start ringing, blood rushing to his face. He’s not used to these thoughts that are currently running around inside his head.

Armin opens his mouth, says something. Eren can’t hear what. His friend points at his swollen bottom lip, clearly worried, but Eren just stares at him. The next word that comes out of Armin’s mouth sounds so closely like Eren’s name that he has to say something.

“Hu... Huh?”

Armin blinks once, twice. Then he bursts out laughing, trying to muffle the sound with the back of his hand.

“You should see your face!” he giggles.

Oh, Eren doesn’t have to. He knows he looks stupid; eyes half lidded and drunk, a fond smile stuck on his lips, his hair a mess because of Armin’s fingers.

“Yeah, well, you look just as funny!”

Armin only giggles more, beaming.

Eren loves it when Armin giggles, loves how the boy’s eyes turn into carefree crescents. There is happiness in Armin’s voice, the kind of happiness Eren is used to hearing when the blond dreams about the ocean; cheerful and delicate. Eren can’t help but chuckle, too.

He tries to savour the moment and lets the unfamiliar happiness soak right into his bones. If kissing is what it takes to make Armin laugh, they definitely have to do this again soon.

For once, things don’t look all that bad.

 

***

 

A shrill scream reaches Eren, making his eardrums nearly bleed. He doesn’t stop, though, he _can't_ stop even if he wants to turn around and help. He has his orders. That wasn’t the first heart-wrenching scream he has heard today and it probably won’t be the last.

Another titan approaches them. Captain Levi turns to face it, his blades ready. Eren urges his horse to pick up its pace, kicking it in the ribcage as softly as he can.

Next he hears someone beg for their life - it sounds an awful lot like Sasha. Eren prays that he’s wrong. He refuses to look back.

A sinking, hopeless feeling settles over him. The sickening smell of blood and gore gets stuck in his nose, making him grimace. He can’t turn around, can’t turn into a titan just yet and it makes him feel useless. Life just loves to kick all of them when they’re already down, doesn’t it?

Eren looks to his right and sees Mikasa, whose expression doesn’t display any external signs of panic. Eren turns to his left and --

Armin is not there.

He almost freezes right then and there, until he remembers that Armin is not even supposed to be there. Mikasa and him were ordered to follow Erwin and Levi; Armin, Jean and some others are with Hanji. It’s going to be okay, Armin is okay, he’s too smart to die.

But no matter how many times Eren tells himself that, with each heartbeat, it’s still getting harder and harder to calm down.

Closing his eyes for a second, Eren shakes his head lightly. What would Armin tell him to do? _Breathe_. He would ask him to draw greedy amounts of air into his lungs and then let it out slowly. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Again and again. And that is exactly what Eren does.

His heart keeps pumping red fire to his veins. He regains his strength slowly, has to keep fighting for what he thinks is right. He has a goal and everyone is counting on him. This was Armin’s plan and it is going to succeed.

His comrades are still screaming, dying, losing their limbs; nothing changed, but Eren does feel a little better. As long as he breathes, he lives.

_Thank you, Armin._

Eren promises himself to thank his friend for real once they get back home.

 

***

 

“Breathe!”

Such a simple, easy thing to do, right? Breathing – the act of respiration, the process of inhaling and exhaling, something that is automatic.

He grabs his best friend’s hair so hard that it must hurt. _Should_ hurt. But...

Lying on the ground, motionless, Eren has to admit that Armin doesn’t look like he’s just asleep. Dirt and blood colour every part of his body – or what is left of it – and he’s still as a statue. But Armin doesn’t look like he’s dead either. There is still old blood running under his cheeks, those lips that Eren knows are the softest thing in the world are still wonderfully pink. Armin’s eyes are closed peacefully, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, mouth a thin line. It’s decieving. Armin looks like he’s just listening intently, tricking Eren. So why...

“Breathe, Armin, come on!”

Eren stuggles to fill his lungs as they seem to quickly collapse in front of his best friend’s corpse. He’s betrayed by his own throat as it tries to strangle him.

Eren gulps.

Is this what Jean felt when he found Marco? Or what Hanna felt when she found Franz? Or –

Eren’s hands ball into fists, knuckles turning white. Anger and sorrow quickly solidify into a familiar ache, once again snapping his soul in two. Water rushes to his lungs, sinking his heart, and Eren won’t say goodbye, he refuses, he _refuses_ to lose another person he calls his family.

Eren eyes his friend’s body, his vision misty with tears. Armin is so small. So tiny and fragile. Why hadn’t he noticed it before?

His chest throbs as he watches Armin’s skin get whiter, feels how it gets colder. This is all his fault. Joining the Survey Corps was his idea, his goal. Armin only ever wanted to meet the ocean.

“The ocean, Armin, the ocean, you haven’t seen it yet”, Eren begs and begs and _begs_ , even though he knows that not a single wish or dream can open Armin’s eyes anymore. “You can’t, not yet, we haven’t seen it. _Please..._ ”

It takes hours before Eren stops shaking. Every muscle in his body is sore. His eyes are blank.

No one’s there. It’s just Eren, Armin and countless other dead bodies.

His teammates are probably looking for him, Eren thinks, and Mikasa must be worried sick. He should try to find them, more titans might appear at any time. He’s just not sure if his feet will carry him.

Asleep in his arms, Armin now really looks like he is dead. Eren has no choice but to learn to breathe underwater without him.

Moving Armin’s bangs out of the way, Eren kisses his best friend’s forehead, tasting salt and blood. “I’m sorry.”

Armin’s lungs never again fill with fresh air.

Nor water.

 

***

 

Armin isn’t there to tell him to breathe, but he still does. He has to. To live... that is what Armin would have wanted him to do.

There are no titans anymore. There’s nothing left to destroy now. Eren reached his goal.

But this... The scenery that unfolds before him – the waves dribbling onto the sand that looks like brown sugar; the golden rays of light caressing the surface of the ocean, making it look like a sea of diamonds – this right here is _Armin's_ dream. Armin’s wonderland. And by god, is it beautiful.

Eren lets his bare feet touch the water, wrap itself around his ankles. The water feels soft, so soft, like his first kiss. The sound of waves crashing onto the shore calms him down in the same way that Armin’s voice used to. It almost sounds like Armin is giggling, whispering his name over and over again. _Eren, Eren, Eren._

Mikasa holds his hand tightly. It’s almost like she’s afraid to let go in case the hypnotic sea is planning to devour Eren the moment their hands aren’t touching. She never stopped being overly protective.

Still, even though he knows that she’s scared, Eren lets go of his sister’s hand, and she hesitantly lets him. Then, slowly, he walks into the water. He only stops when the water touches his chest. Behind him, Mikasa’s breath hitches in her throat.

Eren turns around and meets her nervous gaze, silently reassuring her, telling her that it’s okay. He’s not going to just disappear. Mikasa doesn’t look convinced, fidgeting with the sleeves of her jacket.

Their minds are permanently scarred, Eren knows that. Smiling is tough. They’ve witnessed their family and friends get eaten in front of them, seen more dead bodies than anyone ever should. Their experiences were so traumatic, so vivid that they are still haunted by them day and night. There is blood on their hands, too.

“Breathe”, Eren tells her before he even realizes what he’s saying. His body tenses, and Mikasa sniffs, nodding.

“As long as you keep breathing, I will, too”, she promises.

Armin’s giggles bubble quietly beneath the surface.

Eren crumbles then. His breath catches painfully in his throat and he hides his face in his hands. The tears burn his eyes, hot against his skin, too, as they slide down his cheeks.

“Eren...”

“I-I”, his voice fails him straight away. “I’m not crying.”

Mikasa doesn’t say anything. Eren is not sure if she knows that he’s actually _relieved_. All the sweet, encouraging things Armin ever said to him echo in the wind like a lullaby, and Eren feels like he’s finally found him again. Tears of relief, not sorrow, fill Eren’s eyes.

As years passed, he hated that the memory of his best friend got a little foggy. Armin’s face looked messy in his mind, every detail missing. Now, as he hears the soft whispering of the ocean and sees how divine the outside world truly is, Eren suddenly remembers clearly just how bright Armin’s hair was and how deep his eyes were.

Slowly, the young man sinks a little deeper into the waves until his lips touch the salty water. Heart quivering, Eren squeezes his eyes shut.

It smells like Armin here, it feels, sounds and looks like Armin, _fuck_ , it even tastes like him. Everything is so familiar. The blue surrounding him reminds Eren of love.

The ocean is everything that Armin was. But Armin himself was so much more.

To breathe noiselessly and gently, furiously and desperately like the sea. To breathe, to blow tenderly like the wind, like Armin’s memory.

Eren knows that the red marks on his neck will never fully heal, but after suffocating for so long, he knows that can finally breathe freely again. After searching and searching, with the ocean is where he belongs.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story, I absolutely loved writing it ^^
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated!! I'll love you forever<3 Also, I apologize for any typos or grammar mistakes, I'll try to find them later


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